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26 November 2013 @ 03:28 pm
And my fear suddently knocks in my door...  
When I though it was something that will take a bit more time it sudden drop into me just a moment ago…After 2 years of a bad mood in my house between my mom and stepfather it all came to an end. My stepfather while bringing me to school this afternoon finally said he can’t get the situation anymore and he will start in thinking to get out and now me, my young sister and mom need to proceed our lives without him. I can’t say I’m happy or sad about the situation, it suddenly come like a bomb and now I don’t really know what to do. I’d a life style for over 3 years or so around and now it’s changing all over and I don’t know what to do since I get stuff and now everything will change… when I though I would get a root it was a fragile one. I will need to see what will come in the end but I know a no good outcome will be the end and I don’t wanna it to happen. Even though my stepfather said I will always be like a daughter to him and I supported him the most even the situation… I know nothing will be the same as it has.
I will miss it and now I’m a bit depressed over it I know it will pass since after all I think I’m emotionless and no one can kill my heart unless I’m the one to do it. Quite stupid I know, but even if I’ve a deep pain in my useless heart it will pass and soon it will all be in the past. Since it always happen when I’m left by others.
Thanks for listen/read my comment.
Bye!
Tags: ,
 
 
Mood: depresseddepressed
Music: Nothing, just my classmates...
 
 
 
nanantingkinanantingki on November 26th, 2013 06:57 pm (UTC)
(Sorry, I had to go to the pharmacy)

Maybe your mother doesn't get that the stability of your family is more important to you than money. I believe that man had become part of your family, and maybe your mother, hearing her friend's opinions, feels somehow betrayed by him or that she made a mistake in marrying/trusting him, especially if your father has betrayed her a lot in the past. I don't know what has happened, or if your step-father is a bad man, but if he hasn't wronged your mother, I hope that she'll understand in the future that her behaviour towards you is wrong. As for her friend, I'm not sure what to think. There are friends who really are friends and there are friends who are snakes. I believe you know better which of the two she is. I hope it's just a passing storm, and I hope that they will resolve their misunderstandings.

Maybe it's just too early to talk to her calmly, I'm certain she is affected by all this and she definitely has her own feelings. Perhaps if you'd approach her after a few days, she may react differently. Though I understand you. Suddenly, you're in the middle of a divorce, fearing for the well-being of your family, and your mother doesn't get how afraid you are. And you also need to defend and explain yourself, at a time where you should all be helping each other. When people rely on you during tough times, you need double the strength. Because I'm certain they also rely emotionally, and that definitely has its toll. At least it does on me.

I'm not good for this society either, and I'm struggling here, because things are just horrific. I don't when or what kind of job I'll be able to find, unemployment figures are over the roof here. I wish you better luck than I have! But I hope that talking to me helps you, if only a little:)